I suck at parties.

I posted this on a message board Saturday morning.

Last night I went to a party.

I never learned how to be at a party correctly. I'm shy and bad at striking up a conversation, or even joining in one that's already started. My usual strategy at parties is to stand near a group of people so that to the casual observer, I appear to be mingling. This usually works for me, but it's not a lot of fun.

About halfway through the party, my friend Kendra punched me in the shoulder and said, "You need to be more friendly. Or more manly."

Oh, great. So in addition to my already palpable social awkwardness, I had now been emasculated. I stood around awkwardly for a few moments (or rather, more awkwardly than usual), then resumed the previously described strategy.

What's the secret, people? Is it alcohol? Do I need to start getting drunk at these things?

The immediate reaction was, YES, GET DRUNK.

Fine. I can't resist anymore. Pass the booze.