O Joyous Joy

Kendra: I don't think I've ever seen you express joy.

Even though I think Kendra and I know each other pretty well as a result of our daily IM conversations, we probably haven't spent more than 72 hours within the physical proximity necessary to actually see one another express any of the vast rainbow of human emotion. I've never seen Kendra make out with another woman, but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen every Saturday night.

So really, it wasn't at all surprising that Kendra had never seen me express joy, but it felt like she was suggesting that I was incapable of it. I felt obliged to defend myself, and started to try to think of times that I had experienced that emotion. Kendra hadn't seen me embarrass myself in front of an attractive young lady at the Baltimore Aquarium when I found myself completely incapable of containing the excitement I felt over just how FUCKING cool that octopus was (in my defense, there was also a Morey Eel), but had that been joy? Just what was "joy"?

I headed over to Dictionary.com to see what the experts thought:

Okay, that's a good start, but I had to see if this definition matched Kendra's:

Matthew: what is joy?

Kendra: Intense and especially ecstatic or exultant happiness

Okay, guess we were all set then.

So I thought a bit more, and oddly enough, the first experience I could think of that fit that description also took place at the Baltimore Aquarium, while I was watching the dolphin show. I think from here out, our conversation pretty much speaks for itself:

Matthew: I was watching the trainers and the dolphins interact, and that was so cool.

Matthew: and I know it sounds stupid, but it was a pretty intense happiness i was feeling.

Kendra: it doesn't sound stupid

Kendra: don't be afraid of expressing your emotions

Matthew: hey, i think if anything I'm a little too willing to share embarrassing things with you

Kendra: well I'm archiving them

Kendra: to use against you when you become famous

Matthew: oh no!

Matthew: then I guess I probably shouldn't mention that the dolphins made me cry

Kendra: mmmhhh I wonder if I can get someone to draw that out

Matthew: you mean me, watching dolphins and crying?

Kendra: yeah

Kendra: sketch it

Kendra: like a comic book

Kendra: or perhaps video tape it

Matthew: Jen was like, "What the hell, are you crying?"

Matthew: "Yes. Thank you for not drawing attention to it!"

Kendra: did she mock you?

Matthew: no

Kendra: she's a bigger woman than I

This does all raise an interesting question, however. Why am so willing to talk about embarrassing incidents from my past. Kendra will be disappointed to learn that she isn't the only one who gets to hear them, but that I'm actually pretty open about the various humiliation I've experienced. 'Sup with that?



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