Wentworth Miller

[17:40] Kendra: I enjoyed prison break
[17:40] Kendra: does it help that wentworth miller is pretty?
[17:40] Kendra: yes
[17:41] Kendra: I'm willing to ride

The Existential Crisis Entry

I woke early this morning at about 3:25AM. I got up to pee and whatever, then stumbled back to my room and crawled into bed. Usually I'm able to go back to sleep fairly quickly if I don't entirely wake up -- this time however, that twilight state between sleep and awareness lingered a bit. It occurred to me slowly that in this state I was having difficulty determining where my body ended and the bed began. I almost felt as if I were part of the bed. At first this gave me a warm, cozy feeling, but soon it turned into something darker. I realized suddenly that if I perceived myself to be a part of the bed, then who was to say this wasn't in fact reality? Immediately, my mind rejected this possibility. But that only caused more problems.

If I wasn't able to trust my -- very real for the moment -- perception that I was becoming a part of the bed, then how could I know with certainty that I could trust any of my perceptions? I was familiar with existentialist philosophy -- that the only meaning any object has is that which we imbue it with -- but at this moment, I was struck with the full implications of that idea. I view the world not as a series of raw objects, but in terms of values which are a product of my own mind. If all of this meaning comes from within, then how do I know for sure that anything is real? I suddenly felt very desperate and alone.

And sick. Physically sick.

If the only meaning in the world comes from the values I impart, then it follows that there are no absolutes. Does that mean that things like rape and murder are only bad because I imagine them to be? Do they even exist? Do I even exist? Do you?

Is it possible to function in a world with no meaning?

...

Sike!

A Trip to the Farm

My friend, Kendra, recently posted an explanation of why cows are her favorite farm animal. She rules out pigs almost immediately, but with more ceremony than others. Although she admits that pigs have many endearing qualities, in the end, it all comes down to this:

For all their virtues, I love bacon, sausage, and anything pork based (even pork rinds) and it's too hard to love an animal that you love to eat.

Pigs are damn tasty animals, that's for sure. I'm not a fan of pork chops, but give me something pig based, and it's difficult for me to resist. I still think they're my favorite farm animal, though, for all the reasons that Kendra lists, plus the fact that they're freaking adorable. I mean, just look at this:


photograph byMr. Jaded

Fucking awwww!

Okay, so they can also look pretty homely, but there's potential.

But back to this whole eating-animals-you-love thing. Well, to be honest, this is something that's been bothering me a bit lately. A few month ago, my brother decided that he would become a vegetarian. No one but him is exactly sure of the reason, but when pressed he will tell you that it is because he is so outraged by the fact that he is not allowed to dine on human flesh, that he would rather forego eating meat altogether.

Anyway, seeing him give up meat makes me wonder if I couldn't do it also. Meat is so easy. Everywhere you go, meat is on the menu, and it's really not a bad way to get neccesary protein and minerals into your system. Of course, it's not the only way to get those things, and a non-meat diet can, in fact, be healthier than one that includes it. On top of this, there's the fact that the methods by which meat is produced are unsustainable, and actually pretty bad for the environment; not to mention the fact, as stated above, that I think pigs, cows, and the various types of fowl are actually kinda cute. (Except turkeys. Turkeys can go fuck themselves. They're mean and ugly!)

I've joked with friends that I'm one trip to the farm away from giving up on meat altogether, but I'm not ready to invest the effort neccesary to give it up just yet. Sorry, Wilbur.